July/August- Self Love (Acountabilibuddy edition)
I find myself putting this blog off. Life has been busy, and in spite of my promise to update at a minimum of once a month I am letting go of this commitment in order take the pressure off. I will be updating as my life allows. (This is a great example of self love)
This update I want to talk about is accountability. I made a date with myself. A real date... as in dress up, take myself to a nice restaurant, give myself a night on the town. I canceled... I canceled on myself. I allowed other things to get in the way, I let my emotions boil up and I pushed myself away. I had found the perfect dress, put my outfit together, and last minute I allowed a fairly benign situation to be my excuse to cancel on myself.
When I think about the psychology behind this one word comes to mind: Intimacy. For me, taking a bath isn't really special. I like baths so I take them often. Most of the self love routines I have are things I already do I simply take it a step further with nice candles or essential oils. But a date night is big for me. It is taking myself to a special restaurant. It is getting dressed up, putting on make up, making a reservation. It is doing something for myself I have always wanted someone else to do for me. It is truly special. And I canceled.
I have thought a lot about it over the past month and you know what I figured out? In some ways I am pushing myself away. It's as if I'm saying I'm not worth it, or I'm not special enough. I told one of my friends about my plan for date night. She was very excited for me. When I told her I didn't go her and I made a pact... She has been putting something off as well, so we both have 2 weeks before we see each other again to follow through with our commitment to ourselves. I have an accountabilibuddy.
I am really encouraging anyone on a self love or self care journey to find a friend who is interested in embarking on some kind of journey, whether it is health, fitness, self care, ... it doesn't matter, all that matters is finding another person with a goal so you can keep each other accountable. Someone you can trust enough to ask the hard questions. Who can look you in the eye and ask: "What's keeping you from following through on this? Where is the block? Let's work on it together."
Making changes in life creates opportunities for growth. And with all growth comes growing pains. Find someone you trust to help you through and give you a reality check here and there during the process.