March: Self Love Challenge Update
I have WONDERFUL progress to report!
After feeling disappointed in my attempts at self care in both January AND February I changed my approach. I have put my 'me' time on the calendar. It is an appointment, just like my massage appointments. Every Friday night after work is 'me' time and there's no arguments about it. My partner watches our son a little later than usual and I get the much needed break and self care I deserve. Here's how it happened:
After a more stressful month than usual, I began March very tired and bitter. Watching my partner get all the me time he needs I became resentful and then decided I would not do that to our relationship. I decided to talk to one of my co-workers about massage trades. She and I have been talking about how much we need to trade with each other since I started working at East Wellbeing in September and that's all it had been, talk. Every time we saw each other, "Hey! we really need to trade, let's get together." It never went further than that.
Then, the first week of March I sat down with her and asked what day after work is best for her. I gave her the three days I could stay late and she picked one. The both of us are working together to receive the self care we need. Every Friday we will give each other a massage and get the down time and care we have been talking about getting for months.
This is where self care starts: with a decision, an unwavering commitment. This decision... this mindset... I had to get mad to in order to demand a change for myself. People who say anger is not a good motivator haven't been angry enough. It reminds me a lot of one of my favorite speeches, from the movieNetwork, made in 1976.
In it, an old TV newscaster is pushed out of his job and then loses it on live TV, asking the viewers to yell from their homes, "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwMVMbmQBug ).
Sometimes that's what it takes. It takes being completely fed up with the status quo. It takes direct and immediate action and that's what I did. I was tired of breaking commitments to myself. I was tired of playing the victim. Tired of all the excuses for why I wasn't able to get what I need. And I put an end to it. Or maybe I should say, I created a beginning.
Friday, March 9, was the first time, in a very long time, I received the much needed love I used to give to myself so long ago. I soaked in the most GLORIOUS tub of all time, in my favorite room, Temple. The room lives up to its name too. The Rooms at our spa are one of the biggest reasons I wanted to work here! Soaking in that tub, the lights dimmed way down. The candle light dancing in the golden bowls along the floor. The soft music playing in the background. The smell of essential oils permeating the room. The crimson red silk drapes floating above me. Hot tea on the small wooden table next to the head of the bathtub. The warm steaming water hugging my body creating the same comfort one feels when tucked away safe in the womb. Chocolate cupcake....mmmmmm...(oh yes, the chocolate cupcake... Warm, moist chocolate cake, vanilla butter cream frosting, topped with marshmallows drizzled in rich dark chocolate ganache... Because you just can't have a self love night without chocolate IN the bathtub).
THIS is the self love routine I have missed and been needing. Goddess for a night.
After the bath, I got on the table and in came my massage therapist. I received the best massage of my life. This was better than any me time I could ever get at home. This is what taking care of myself is going to be from now on. I left that room feeling like a new person: refreshed, sexy, strong, fulfilled, joyful, empowered!
I have carved out my me time every other Friday night for 1 to 2 hours. I am excited to report back to you next month with my update. I see this trade of me time going very well, and I see it helping me transform into the person I want to be. No more excuses.
BY WILLIAM ERNEST HENLEY
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.